


Ghost of the Past

by SoraHinari



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Byleth is briefly mentioned/shown, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd Needs a Hug, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd-centric, Emotional Hurt, Extended Scene, Gen, Ghosts, He deserves happiness, In-game Dialogue, Just give him a hug already, Mental Anguish, Mental Instability, Monologue, Past, Post-Timeskip | War Phase (Fire Emblem: Three Houses), Sad Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd, Young Dimitri
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-27
Updated: 2020-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 05:16:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22431721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoraHinari/pseuds/SoraHinari
Summary: Dimitri felt the minutes pass, he didn't know how many hours or days it had been, what he knew was that he was tired. Tired of the voices, of the screams, of the cries, tired of seeing the ghosts of so many people cramped in one room. But for just one moment, he felt one of them was real... maybe a little too real, it was just a child, so small, so fragile looking... and yet, it was probably The Boar King's most haunting image.
Comments: 7
Kudos: 8





	Ghost of the Past

**Author's Note:**

> Hello there! Has been awhile since I did write something Fire Emblem related! But as I was scrolling through twitter I stumbled upon a magnificent piece of art that I couldn't resist basing a little small drabble on! Have in mind that English is not my native language and this piece might have mistakes scattered around! Nevertheless I hope you enjoy it! Also just putting it out there the ending WILL include in game dialogue!
> 
> THE ARTWORK WHICH THIS IS BASED UPON: https://twitter.com/joer_kk/status/1202025991536828419

The only sound that could be heard in this damned room was the panting that his lungs were forcing out. Sometimes he wished he could just stop, stop what he was doing and return back home, or to what he used to call home. Of course wishes were just that, empty words, only left to Lady Luck or Fate for them to be fulfilled, which was something he hated. Neither of those two were kind to him in the past, forcing him to take them both in his own hands and shape his fate to what was manifested now. Botched, broken, a monster hiding under human skin and physique. Feeling his body heavy and the one at the end of his spear limp, Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd made a sharp movement knocking the dead body off his blade before making his way at a nearby wall, away from any source of light except the small window on the side, that sometimes would cast a path of sunlight in front of his feet. The panting had died down, now someone could hear the clinking of metal as his body sank to the stone floor, his body rested against the wall, his one open eye closed tightly, head heaving forward as if he was ashamed, one hand tightly wrapped around his spear while the other just rested on his thigh. He could hear it drip, drop by drop, fresh blood on Areadbhar's blade from the guard he just killed. What number was that? One-hundred? Two-hundred? More? Dimitri couldn't recall anymore.

Soon the somewhat peaceful silence only often cut off by the sound of trickling blood was destroyed by the voices. His hands rose to his hair, the blonde locks of hair once smooth and nicely taken care of were twisted, stuck together by some blood splatters, some fresh some old, black hands started running through them, separating some of them but mostly pulling, scratching, damaging his scalp.   
"Stop it..."  
He whispered in a low voice. But the voices only got louder.  
"Stop it."  
He repeated to himself. But once again the sound only got amplified, he could now even hear how many men, women and children were screaming at him.  
"Stop it!"  
Once again the same words left his lips but to no avail. The voices now cried, screamed, clawed from his senses.  
"STOP IT! STOP IT!"  
The Boar's armored fingers scratched deeper into his head, lowering themselves to his ears in order to cover them. But what good would that do? The voices were not outside noise, they were inside him, the price he ought to pay. Soon he opened his eye from the pain, he felt his chest heavy, he didn't know when his breaths had become ragged and fast, like he was fighting for one. He also didn't notice when the room became crowded, people all around him, his hands moved to catch his spear but he couldn't move them, he was frozen. His blue eye traveled from face to face, old and young, all dead, all in the ground under soil by his two hands. Dimitri backed against the wall even more, wishing the stone could swallow his wretched existence, but soon the light shone through the window opening, the haunting images cleared, the voices stopped and something first for him happened. He started feeling calm, his lungs took a break and started steadying his breathing to a normal level, his hands left his ears, dropping on his knees that were now propped up, heels digging into the stone floor. Feeling that his ghosts were finally done for sometime, maybe bored of his uselessness, Dimitri hanged his head between his arms and legs sighing, leaving a puff of white smoke from the cold, closing his single good eye hoping for some rest. Hoping was the keyword.

"What is wrong sir? Are you hurt?" a small voice made itself noticeable but not earning Dimitri's attention, after all it might have just been another one of his visitors playing games with his mind "Sir? Is that blood yours?! Did you get in a fight?!" the question was so random and something Dimitri was never asked before. 

Out of curiosity the blonde against the wall rose his head in order to look with his tired gaze towards the ghost, that was when his body tensed and his blue eye glared towards the child. A boy, supporting himself on his feet and crouching down so he would look up to him. Bright blue orbs looking at his bloody face, fair skin, blonde silk hair carefully combed and styled, clothed with what looked to be soft velvet in the colours of blue and black with some white fur, resembling the colours of his cape which was draped over his slouched shoulders now that he was staring at the kid. Slowly blinking he chuckled to himself shaking his pounding head, this must be some kind of twisted joke. Is this really what his punishment has turned into? His thoughts kept running until the kid spoke up again.

"Sir? Can I help you? Please I... I want to help if I so can!" Help? Ah... such words hadn't left his own mouth for quite some years now. Of course Lady Fate would decide for him even now, even after five whole years.

"You cannot help kid, just leave, go away and leave me alone." His voice was gruff, he could feel the kid flinching under his gaze and rough tone, almost like his vocal chords were underused. Dimitri wanted the young one to leave, he didn't want to see the kid... didn't want to compare himself to the small boy's image.

"That is not true! I believe I can help! Surely there is something I can do!" Hopeful the two bright blue eyes stared into his own making him sigh and close it instantly.

"I never believed you of all people would come to haunt me and cause me pain, such irony, hurting myself like that is just a joke really..." Dimitri mumbled and rested his head against the wall, eye opening to stare at the roof that was at some parts chipping away.

"Cause you pain? How so mister? What did I do to hurt you?" The boy asked, with his eyes now filled with confusion and worry. How long has it been since Dimitri saw someone look at him with such emotions? How long since someone looked at him with something besides hate and the intent of killing him under commands? The answer was simply 'Too long'. But Dimitri didn't falter for such emotions, not anymore.

"You didn't do anything kid, but that look... I can spot things in your eyes that myself has long lost years and years ago..." Said the Boar with a low voice, a more gentle tone in his speech, maybe from nostalgia or regret... or even guilt.

"What is that exactly mister? What can you see that you lost? Maybe I can help you find it!" That voice was so hopeful, it filled Dimitri's mind with so so many memories, memories of peace and prosperity, memories he had buried deep in the back of his head under piles of bodies after each and every bloodshed.

"Of course, how can you know? You only know kindness and love... But what I see and loath the most is the thing I cannot find again." Dimitri's head straightened enough to stare the boy in the eyes, blue meeting blue, searching within each other and finding a deep abyss. "Your innocence for I am too corrupted to be salvaged. Your empathy for I am no more than an empty vessel to feel anything. Your humanity for I am more of a beast than a human. Your optimism for I lost the ability to see things able to be saved a long time ago. You might not understand a word coming out of my lips right now kid, but you will... Sooner or later reality will come crumbling down on your body, suffocating you... And you will be unable to do anything but run away and hide like a coward. I am nothing more than a wretch, a leech, a parasite. But no matter what happens... I will get her head... Maybe then, you will never appear before me again. Maybe and only maybe, after that, I could be salvaged by death."

The little boy looked confused and somewhat sad, probably because he was unable to help. But Dimitri could only find this whole situation funny, how these games ended up being his worst nightmares never failed to amuse him. Letting his head hang again, Dimitri took a long deep breath and opened his eye briefly to see now that the kid was not there anymore. Closing his eye once more, Dimitri tried to piece together what he just saw. Why did he see himself from that time? Was it because he felt that those days were the best of his life at some point? Was it because he longed to feel that damned woman as a friend once again and not as a foe? No mater what it was he couldn't put his finger on to it, but seeing himself like that made him feel even more gone than what he already was. He felt himself slip into the emptiness of the void, even deeper than where he was if that was possible. That majestic lion that he once was known to be, was long gone, replaced by a monster who wanted nothing else but to pile dead bodies that resulted in even more piles... Death after death, with the hope of calming the growing in numbers voices in his head. Soon though his inside thoughts got interrupted, by now his head rested against Areadbhar but soon raised to see who came into his field of vision once again. Ah, one more visitor he longed and loathed to see... his lost professor. Dimitri could see the man walking closer and closer, soon offering a hand to him for his own to grasp. The only thing Dimitri did, was stare away from the offer back down at the floor, his golden bangs covering some of his face.

"I should've known... That one day... You would be haunting me as well." Looking up at the man who was looking right back at him with pity in his eyes, Dimitri snarled. "You... What must I do to be rid of you? I will kill that woman, I swear it. Do not look upon me with scorn in your eyes!" He already had an awful visitor today in the form of his young self, having his professor now here too was just too much for him... Way too much. But suddenly...

"What are you talking about Dimitri...?" Asked a voice worried and concerned. Gasping, trying to register what he just heard, Dimitri widened his eyes and stood up to be at the same level with his ex-professor. Was it really him? But if that was the case and he didn't care about her head... Or didn't know... Then...

"You... It can't be! You're alive?!" Suddenly what he said to the kid dawned upon him... Optimism was not part of his life... If Byleth was alive that meant only one thing. Scoffing at the other man Dimitri glared "If that is the case... That can only mean you are another Imperial Spy. Did you come here to kill me? Answer the question." His voice was stern, God only knew if he was real how much strength it required for his voice to stay like that. At that moment he saw Byleth frown and shake his head.

"Of course not... I could never even imagine doing something like that to you Dimitri..." Hearing those words coming from his teacher's lips made Dimitri sigh and walk pass him, bumping his shoulder on Byleth's for a minute... To make sure the collision would happen, to feel that he was actually there, body and soul the same. "I am glad you are safe..." Byleth said, still frowning. But Dimitri shook his head.

"Am I? Am I truly?" He didn't know who he was asking, he didn't seek for Byleth to answer. But as he started walking down the stairs, kicking some dead bodies out of his way in the process. His mind drifted back to what he said to his child self and soon to the sound of heels clicking behind his own, following him. Maybe he was wrong. Maybe, just a slight maybe, a small dim possibility, his salvation was possible. Maybe his humanity could still be found. Because, although he hated to admit it, from the minute he saw Byleth offering his hand so freely to him, to such a monster, Dimitri could hear the voices dimming down just slightly... Enough for him to spark a hope that his sanity could still be hidden deep inside the abyss he had made himself tumble into.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reaching the end!  
> I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it!


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